I'm so sick of it

I want to change it all. I'm going to change it all.

Afraid

Will I ever get my head around
All the things that I feel good about
that always seem to disappear?
When every time I think
I've got this all worked out.
Something chews me up and spits me out.
But there's nothing left to fear...

I feel so bad
Never felt like this 'bout anything I never have
No, please don't tell me that
What's lost is lost it's never gonna come back home

I walk in circles when there's no one around
Try to find my own direction
I test the water but it burns my hand
As I disfigure my reflection
I've been a good girl but I need peace of mind

I lie in silence and I just can't sleep
How I long for your affection
My eyes are tired and my body is weak
I'll carry on proving everyone wrong
I will succeed!
What's meant to be is meant to be
it's no consolation!

I 'm caught up in a mystery way
I'm in a constant distant state
I pray for this to always be
The path that has been chosen for me
Cos it's got me spinning round and round, round and round
So high I can't touch the ground anymore
And it's all that I'm praying

I stood alone, the only one
I didn't know I was waiting
For liberty to feel like me
And now I'm here I'm not willing to change but I'm so afraid.